Posted on

Get Rich Quick, A Pathetic Bob Guide

So, you want to get rich quick? Who doesn’t? But unless you are lucky enough to receive an e-mail from the wife, son, of a former,high-ranking, Nigerian official now living in London, who has stashed $23 million in an offshore bank and needs you to get it out for him for a large commission,or you are a master criminal with foolproof plans to rob the National Reserve, you have about as much of a chance of getting rich quick as you do of having one-eyed, Gypsy rabbits fly out your butt. Of course that won’t stop you from trying because you are–of course–you are an asshole.

The lure of big profits from little work is not unique to the human species; other animals have been known to be as stupid as you are in this regard. Many sharks have not lived to rue the day when he was swimming around with his friends, and said, “Hey Ronnie, look, there’s a dead chicken out there…under water…in the middle of the ocean,” only to find out there was a string attached. Even my species has often been enticeĀ  by a handful of baloney or a piece of cheese and ended up taking a bath or shower.

The main difference between human and animal stupidity when they fall for get-rich-quick schemes is motivation. Animals are motivated by hunger, the need to feed. Humans, on the other hand, are motivated by useless crap; they haveĀ  need for greed. It seems in the human mind. the promise of a big payday means, “Holy crap,if this comes through, I can get a 70-inch, smart television, visit Finland, have my boobs lifted, move into a gold-plated igloo, or have sex with a 24-year-old Zumba instructor.”

The upside of wealth is it affords you the best medical care, a nice place to live, and the opportunity to make even more money, however, it cannot buy you peace of mind. It even can’t buy Donald Trump a decent head of hair. Animals aren’t wealthy; some are pampered, but they don’t own squat. For the most part, when left alone by man to live free, animals flourish and live a bountiful life. They understand how much enough, and when to move on. If humans would take time to break away from their TVs and video games and observe nature, they might realize how much wealth they are squandering right now. The planet has finite resources, and you asshole are rapidly to much of them on crap. Jesus, you got me pissed, and I’m preaching like a televangelist on crack.

Look, I have no problem with getting rich, but be realistic, buy a lottery ticket. Ans, if you do hit the big payday, give a lot of it away; you might be surprised how good it feels.


Get to know a Nigerian, watch out for one-eyed rabbits, money can’t buy you good hair, give money away.

2 thoughts on “Get Rich Quick, A Pathetic Bob Guide

  1. Things are to be used and people are to be loved, We often get this in a 180 degree stance in the good old USA !!!

  2. I agree completely, just keep swinging the bat.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *