Since I’ve been here in Deadland, I found Einsteins’s E=MC-rounded theory, on which he was working at the time of his death. It seemed to me Einstein was tinkering with equations seeking proof for what he termed,”The Planetary Law of Pressurized distortion of solid and ethereal magma as they relate to world events and flavor enhancement of blueberry pancake syrup.”Although many of Al’s calculations make a great deal of sense, it is obvious to me, as his worked progressed, the great physicist fell under the spell of crack cocaine.
After much study and very little help from living scientists, I believe I’ve finally completed Einstein’s seminal research and arrive at a simple, yet beautiful, conclusion I call the theory “The Planetary, Pressured, Latex-bubble, and Expansion and Retraction of Yin-Yang Core Disruptions.” In layman’s terms, my theory states “Good shit and bad shit occur simultaneously or the planet will explode.There can be no Kardashian without a Steven Hawking, no Kellyann Conway without a Rachel Maddow, no theist without atheists, and no storms without sunny weather. It is a bse for much Taoist principle, and it is evident, if you take some time to look.
It is well known the Earth’s is under tremendous pressure, and, without pressure relief valves to release some of the pent-up energy, it would pop like an overfilled condom. Hence, volcanoes and underwater that allow the Earth to vent. What is not as well-known is the Earth is also under huge loads of psychic pressure. Emotions such as hate, greed, envy, etc, that float about the surface are absorbed by the planet until it is so full of them, it has to deflect them outward or face a breakdown. The outwardly psychic pressure is what causes wars. Wars are the pressure valves of negative energy build-up within the planet. You may have noticed there are always hostilities going on someplace on Earth, and if peace breaks out in one region, war will have to break out in another.
Gaia (Mother Earth) is under assault; she’s being raped, plundered, and poisoned; that pisses her off. Many of the species that once roamed her surface and contributed to her health have disappeared like intellectuals did under Hitler’s, Stalin’s, and Mao’s regimes (watch out America.). When you create bad shit, Gaia will send it back to you in spades. When you worship a Kardashian, she will send a Donald Trump, when you fart in Australia, people in India will smell it.
Anyway, that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.